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Literary Tag


No Deals Mr Bond - Small Title NovelLocationsEquipmentCharacters


No Deals, Mr. Bond, first published in 1987, was the sixth novel by John Gardner featuring Ian Fleming's secret agent, James Bond. Carrying the Glidrose Publications copyright, it was first published in the United Kingdom by Jonathan Cape and in the United States by Putnam. It was the last Bond novel to be published in Britain by Jonathan Cape, ending an association dating back to the first Bond novel, Casino Royale in 1953. It is also the first James Bond novel since Colonel Sun (1968) to not have it's first edition cover designed in the style of Richard Chopping.

No Deals, Mr. Bond has the minor distinction of being the first, and thus far, only non-novelisation Bond novel to incorporate the agent's name into the title.

Synopsis[]

An MI6 honeytrap operation against some high-ranking Soviet officers goes awry, and MI6's people have to be pulled out in a hurry. Five years later, two of those involved are murdered, and now Bond must secure the last three before they are hit. But as the trip goes from England via Ireland to Hong Kong, the case quickly becomes more and more dangerous and complicated.

Plot summary[]

Seahawk[]

No Deals, Mr. Bond begins with James Bond participating in a mission dubbed "Seahawk" at the Baltic Sea - in the vicinity of Bornholm, Denmark. Bond, accompanied by two members of the Special Boat Service (SBS) arrive to coast by a inflatable raft to covertly extract the two female agents, who were on a mission in East Germany, to the Royal Navy nuclear submarine. However, the appearance of a patrol boat forces one of the SBS operatives to sacrifice themselves in order to complete the mission.

Briefing[]

The book continues 5 years later with Bond joining M at the Blades club, where the latter mentions Operation Seahawk again. M begins to explain to Bond that the two women he rescued were part of a mission dubbed Cream Cake. It was a honey trap operation that involved getting close to top Soviet personnel of East German HVA [Wikipedia] and KGB as a means to not only spy for the British Secret Service, but to secure the defection of 2 highly ranking Soviet officers, an act that the Soviets occasionally performed against countries of the West.

Involving 4 women and a man, the operation was considered a complete debacle that ended with the members being found out. Despite all the members being extracted and given new identities, two female participants in the operation were discovered gruesomely murdered on British soil, with their tongues cut out. With the Foreign Office having given strict instructions to abandon the members of Cream Cake, Bond is sent by M, "off the record", to find the remaining members of Cream Cake before they suffer the same fate.

London & Dublin[]

In London, Bond goes to find Heather Dare, one of the women he had extracted five years ago. Bond goes to a beauty salon owned by Heather, and informs her of the danger. However, Heather is aware of the situation thanks to reading the newspaper, and tells Bond that she has already made an appointment in Dublin with the other girl that 007 extracted five years ago, Ebbie Heritage.

Bond and Heather therefore decide to go to Dublin, but are attacked by several men; however 007 manages to overcome them. At a Dublin airport, Bond and Heather discover in the newspapers that Ebbie has been murdered.

007 contacts Big Mick Shean and an inspector named Norman Murray to get information regarding Ebbie's murder. But it turns out it was not Ebbie who was murdered, but another woman whom Ebbie had lent her raincoat. Additionally, Bond learns that HVA Colonel Max Smolin, the main target of Operation Cream Cake and whom Heather was assigned to seduce in that mission, has arrived to Ireland. Not only that, there are rumors that a Soviet officer more higher ranked than Smolin is in country. Because of this, Bond starts to suspect that that the Operation Cream Cake had been compromised from the start.

Bond and Heather hit the road, but their vehicle is attacked and they are eventually captured by Smolin. The latter tells Bond that he knows everything about Cream Cake and that he is angry with the SIS for having sent a simple beginner, Heather, to take care of an objective as important as him.

Castle[]

Bond and Heather are brought by Smolin and his men to a castle where they find Ebbie as a prisoner there. Maxim Smolin has Bond handcuffed to a chair for interrogation, but it turns out that this is actually a set-up by Smolin for his colleagues.

While pretending to interrogate 007 alone, Smolin reveals himself to be a turncoat now working with the British Secret Service - having been so for 5 years, with M knowing this fact. He explains that it was the KGB who ordered the hunt for the former members of Cream Cake and asks 007 for help to escape the castle with him and the girls. Maxim Smolin also reveals to him that General Konstantin Nikolaevich Chernov, a KGB officer from Department Eight of Directorate S (formerly SMERSH), is arriving to the castle very soon.

However, a KGB officer named Ingrid, discreetly listens to the two men's conversation. She decides to enter the interrogation room to place Smolin under arrest. A fight and shootout ensues during which Bond falls unconscious. When he regains consciousness, 007 is in the company of the girls and Smolin. Together they take a car to escape from the castle as General Chernov's helicopter arrives. Bond disables the aircraft while Smolin drives the car away from the castle.

Hotel, Chernov capture & France[]

Once in safety, they change cars and spend the night in a hotel. Bond makes love to Ebbie, but the next day, Smolin and Heather are no longer there. Suddenly, General Chernov appears in the hotel and points a gun at Bond.

Chernov and his men try to drive Bond back to the castle, but are stopped by the police on the road. Inspector Norman Murray, to whom 007 had telephoned before being kidnapped by Chernov, takes Bond out of the car and lets Chernov drive away.

Murray has been ordered to drive Bond out of the country and take him to a plane that will take him to Paris. Waiting in the plane is Ebbie, who managed to hide when Chernov's men appeared. Having managed to wiretap the castle, Bond has learned that the last mole, "Jungle" Baisley, is in Hong Kong, and in Paris he is given extra equipment by Ann Reilly (Q'ute) of Q-Department before Bond takes the Ebbie to Hong Kong.

Hong Kong[]

Bond and Ebbie travel to Hong Kong to search for Jungle Baisley, who is meant to accompany HVA officer Susanne Dietrich, a friend of Smolin. Arriving at their hotel, Ebbie thinks she saw Swift, an SIS man who was in charge of Operation Cream Cake. In their room, Bond phones an old friend, Big Thumb Chang, and makes an appointment to meet him.

007 meets Chang but Swift appears and relays M's message to Bond. Like 007, M suspects that there are one or more traitors among the members of Cream Cake and asks his agent to eliminate them. Swift also tells Bond that Chernov is on Cheung Chau Island[Wikipedia] and that he has prisoners with him, Smolin and Heather, as well as possibly Baisley and Dietrich. Bond and Ebbie return to their hotel. When they leave their hotel, they come across Swift's dead body. Later 007 meets Swift's colleague, Richard Han, who helps him get to Cheung Chau Island with Ebbie.

On the island, they are captured by Chernov and his men. Deeming Bond to having been a worthy adversary, Chernov decides to give him a chance to live, granted Bond survives a deadly game. The game being a manhunt, where Bond will be released on the island perimeters armed with a Luger, and he will then be hunted by four men, each armed equally to Bond's (either with a Luger, a knife, or a flail).

Subsequently, Bond manages to eliminate three of the men. However, the fourth one gets a jump on Bond, with Richard Han coming to last minute rescue to save Bond's life. But then suddenly Han is killed by Heather Dare, who turns out to be a traitor. 007 disarms her and shoots her dead in cold blood.

Bond returns to Chernov to free the other members of Cream Cake, but is stopped by another traitor, Norman Murray. Bond ultimately kills Murray and captures Chernov alive, freeing the prisoners.

The story concludes in a scene few days later, where Bond, recovering from injuries, gets to spend a short holiday in Hong Kong together with Ebbie.

Characters[]

  • Ebbie Heritage
    Ebbie's real name is Emilie Nikolas. She was a member of operation Cream Cake and was one of the two women that were extracted by Bond during Seahawk. Ebbie was tasked with meeting and seducing a Major in the East German Army.
  • Colonel Maxim Smolin
    Born in 1946, Smolin, codnamed "Basilisk", was the prime target during the operation known as Cream Cake. At the time Smolin was the second in command of the HVA (the East German Intelligence Service). Smolin is also employed by the Soviet GRU. Unknown to the intelligence agencies of the Soviet Union, Smolin is a turncoat secretly working with the British Secret Service.
  • Inspector Norman Murray
    An inspector for the Republic of Ireland's Special Branch. He lends aid to Bond (known to Murray as "Jacko B") while Bond is in the Republic of Ireland. Secretly, however, Murray is on Chernov's payroll and eventually turns on Bond. He is later killed in Hong Kong by Bond.

Gallery[]

Behind the Scenes[]

Gardner, on his website (archived), states that he was opposed to this novel being given the title No Deals, Mr. Bond, a title he calls "dreadful" along with other titles suggested by his publishers including Oh No, Mr. Bond! and Bond Fights Back. Gardner originally suggested the title Tomorrow Always Comes.

Trivia[]

  • At one point Gardner makes a reference to Kingsley Amis as an author of novels that some officers in the book are interested in. Amis wrote the first James Bond continuation novel in 1968, titled Colonel Sun under the pseudonym Robert Markham.
  • Not to be confused with "Your Deal, Mr. Bond", an unauthorized James Bond short story written in 1997 by Philip and Robert King and published in a collection of the same title.

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